Hotel takeovers, is it a BYOB event or a cash bar?
The wife and I have been attending hotel takeovers for well over 5 years now. We have been able to boil the full takeovers down to two types, those that are BYOB and those that offer a cash bar. Here are some differences we have noticed:
The obvious, you can not have your own alcohol in the public areas. In your rooms, yes, not a problem. No nudity in public areas until the bar has closed, usually around 1-2am. Playrooms also do not open until 1-2am.
The Obvious, bring your own and have fun. Nudity is not an issue, within reason. Playrooms can open at anytime.
Based on the the details above, you would think that every event promoter would want to hold a BYOB event. Not that easy, if the hotel has a liquor license and is either unwilling or unable to place that license in escrow they are beholden to follow the Cash Bar rules. Most hotels are unwilling to do this because they want to make money off the liquor sales. Compound that with finding a hotel that has banquet facilities and it makes it very difficult. On top of all this, when a event promoter agrees to a takeover at a Cash Bar hotel, they almost always have a food & beverage minimum that they have to meet.
OK, why am I rambling on about all this? Couple of things, when you find a event promoter that has a BYOB event, don't screw it up for them! If it is a Cash Bar event, spend some money at the bar, order dinner at the hotel, help that promoter meet the minimum so they can continue having events at that hotel.
Last thing, the Cash Bar vs. BYOB is secondary to finding a hotel that will work with the Lifestyle to begin with.
Hopefully this gives you some insight on how difficult it is to put on these events!
What is your comfort zone?
Do you prefer one or another?
Meet N Greets
A low pressure atmosphere to meet up with Lifestyle couples and singles, typically held at a bar. Each one is a little different in terms of style, theme, music, dance, etc., however they are a great starting pace if you are new to the Lifestyle. You can dress as sexy or casually as you want and there is typically no nudity. MnG's are typically free to attend.
Events - Hotel Takeovers, Resort Takeovers, Camping, etc.
Events can be a little more intense and intimidating as there is a lot more opportunities to see nudity and/or playing. This does not mean however that you have to join in on any of it. Events can be an overnight to a full weekend and have various theme's or just an overall theme. Most have a designated "playroom" with different sex furniture to play on. Each piece of furniture is in its own tent area with a see thru screen. If the screen is closed, you may watch, if it is open, you can enter and ASK PERMISSION to join or just watch. Generally there are mixers available and a light snack. Bring your own booze.
House parties tend to be more exclusive, meaning you need an invite to attend. There are open house parties posted on the Lifestyle sites as well. As the name suggests, these are held at someone's house so discretion when arriving is always appreciated. Each house party is a little different, but most have snacks and mixers available, once again bring your own booze. Some house parties will have designated play area's.
Each one has its pro's and con's. We enjoy aspects of all of them.
Ghosting - The art of some couples being able to have a great conversation with someone and as soon as the other couple asks for a date, they disappear. Ok, yes there are other scenario's but you get the idea. As frustrating as this is, it is a common practice of many couples. Is it the new norm of society or is this exclusive to the lifestyle? Within the lifestyle there may be many reasons, the couple is really only a guy, the husband is acting without the wife's knowledge or approval, they just get scared of the prospect of meeting someone, or maybe we just turned them off for some reason. How can you avoid it? We, plain and simple, don't beat around the bush, we ask "When would like to do dinner or drinks?" within the first few minutes or chatting. If they ignore the question we will let them know that we are not interested in just chatting and that we wish them well in the lifestyle. If they say they will have to check with their spouse we offer to add the spouse in on the chat or contact us when you have an answer.
No Replies - You find a great couple on a lifestyle website, you send them a message, and then wait, and wait, and never get a reply. Frustrating as this is, there are many reasons for it. What was the content of your message? We have found the more thought and content we put into a message, the higher rate of replies we get. When was the last time the couple was online? There are couples that only log on weekly or even monthly. There are a plethora of reasons a couple may not respond to you, however the most common is that they are simply not interested, which begs the question, why not just reply, "Sorry, we are not interested?" Who the fuck knows? Afraid your gonna hurt the other couples feelings? To busy? Any reason, as far as we are concerned is "Bullshit".
Ok so our rant is over... LOL
Last weekend, we were fortunate enough to be invited to a house party for Halloween. Holy shit, did we have fun! Everyone was dressed up in awesome costumes and the alcohol flowed freely. If you ever get a chance to attend a house party we would highly suggest it.
So the wife & I attended an event last weekend and had an awesome time. We met a bunch of great couples and throughout the evening narrowed down our attractions to two couples. We had engaged in small talk with these couples throughout the evening so we decided to attempt to "corner" each couple and gauge the attraction of each couple through conversation and flirting.
A great song came on and we enticed them out to the dance floor. The wife and I danced together and then traded off. Things were pretty heated on the dance floor, so we were able to seductively dance for a while, butt squeezes were exchanged and plenty of rubbing together ensued between each couple. We thanked them for the dance, chatted for a bit and exchanged info.
We noticed this couple early on in the night and had traded many glances. As the wife & I were walking around later, we noticed them sitting at a table and asked if we could join them. We engaged in good conversation with them, both of us flirted with them through playful words as well as some incidental touching however it seemed they were not interested in reciprocating so we thanked them for the conversation and moved on.
Later in the week I received a message from the male half of Couple A asking if we had a good time at the party, etc. We chatted back and forth for awhile, shared some sexy pic's, etc. I asked him if the two of them would be interested in drinks/dinner/date and this was his response, "Well the wife is not really into the lifestyle right now, but is letting me play on my own." Say what? She engages in seductive dancing with me, then i get this? I checked their profile pic's and it was the same woman. Hold it, they have a profile as a couple yet she doesn't play? WTF! Needless to say, they are a NO.
Our interest level in Couple B was pretty high, so we did some stalking on SLS and found their ID. Sent off a message and instantly got a reply thanking us for reaching out to them. We exchanged KIK info and have been chatting with them for a few days now. We still are unsure of their interest level as conversation has been pretty vanilla. Most of the chatting has been between the males. Hopefully, we can move this in the right direction.....
Questions and Conversation
How much attraction and flirting do you do with a couple before you "give up", whether it be at an event, party or online?
Do you ask another couple if they are interested right away, gauge it, or just ride it out?